Quality Management

We had our Re-certification of ISO9001 Quality Management Audit at work yesterday. We passed.

Now I can exhale.
It got me thinking how efficiently my household would run if we had established Quality Systems in place at home. A series of process maps for every possible situation, whereby I don’t have to think or wonder if I’m doing the right thing. I simply follow the steps on the map.

Example:

P002 Sibling Altercation Management Process Map

Imagine …
“I’m sorry son, you failed to follow the process map P002 where it clearly states that in a sibling altercation it is your responsibility to remove yourself from the situation. You instead initiated violence. Thats a Non-Conformance, you must now open an Action Request in order to address Corrective and Preventative Action, and don’t try to skip over Root Cause Analysis. Have your findings ready by dinner time and the matter will be tabled for discussion.”

How nice it would be to simply shrug my shoulders and proclaim my inability to breach the system. I am not the bad guy here kids, I am simply the Quality Manager. I oversee the scope of the system, I ensure that protocol is followed.
Parenting would be as simple as a flow chart.
Easy.

That elusive parenting maual might not be such an unobtainable notion afterall.

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4 Responses to Quality Management

  1. leagpage says:

    Hilarious!! There is a definite allure to the idea of applying a scientific approach to what is truly an art.

    I am guilty, I am afraid, of writing just such a manual, but it has no flow charts and not even a map. It is more of a parent-orienteering course: a guide to getting your own bearings and using your own internal compass.

  2. Irene Hansford says:

    You may/may not have forgotten the Incident Report in triplicate lodged by the aggrieved party (just a suggestion) :))))

  3. Jennie says:

    Oh how I enjoyed writing the procedures at work, NOT! I know you are referring to kids, but we as Adults must learn to take responsibly for our actions. Oh and when do we learn this, as kids. der

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