Because I am so extroadinarily lucky I am heading off on a kids free weekend with Hubby today…Did I mention that yet? hmmm….can’t quite remember….
Anyhow, here’s one I prepared earlier.
Normally I try not to get involved in the kids scuffles, but today I just had to. I was doing normal morning stuff and I hear the Actor say ”why did you kick me?’ and Deflectors reply “I didn’t” is why I got involved.
Now Mums’ with kids old enough to talk will recognize the ‘lying voice’. Not sure what it is, maybe the high pitch slightly whiney tone is what gives it away. I’m not sure, but I do know that I am the master of recognizing all four of my kids lying voices.
So I say to Deflector “Why’d you kick your brother?” (Not because I want to know why, but because I want to see if he will be accountable – pfft. As if.)
And predictably, he says “I didn’t.”
Now, I know he did, it’s written all over his face.
“We can stand here all day til you tell me the truth” and I now have an excuse to sit and drink my coffee while it’s still hot.
He sighs and I can see he’s trying to work a scenario over in his head. Finally he says “I didn’t kick him…I just did this…” and he proceeds to kick his leg kung fu style in the air.
I look at my 11-year-old with a please-don’t-tell-me-you-think-that-kicking-motion-is-not-a kick look. And he honestly doesn’t see what the problem is. He repeats “I didn’t kick him.”
So like I did when he was 3 years old, I sit him on a chair and tell him not to move until he can take responsibility for his actions.
He sits for a good 20 minutes repeating his mantra “I didn’t kick him”, as though chanting it will make it true.
He eventually calls me to him and whispers “OK, I kicked him….but I didn’t know I did it.”
Give me strength.
I try to explain to him that when you kick your foot and it makes contact with another persons’ arse, and that person immediately says “why’d you kick me?” there’s your first clue.
He doesn’t get it. Well I’m sure he does, but he still thinks he can fool me with absolute denial.
It’s like watching a bad ACA segment where the con man denies any knowledge of the fact that he has scammed hundreds of people, even when faced with indisputable evidence. My son is not going to end up on ACA.
So I tell him to write me a paper on why it is important to take responsibility for our actions and how he could have handled that situation differently.
10 minutes later this is what he gives me:
I can be more responsible by owning up to things I didn’t do so no one gets in trouble. I can stop lying by telling mum what happened the first time so mum can sort it out.
Don’t talk to Actor because he always has to dob on people for everything they do, just so he can’t get in trouble.
Or I can just own up to things I apparently did.
Parenting realisation #37. No matter how hard you try, some kids are always going to end up on a bad current affair program.